Reflections on February 2014

February 25, 2014 by 5 Comments

New habits are a challenge! Replacing one habit with another is positively life-changing. This month gave me the shortest amount of time and, because of school break, a slight return to life before 2014. That’s completely fine. I’m in the last week of February, and I’m going to try my best to get back on track.

And prepare for Lent, which is right around the corner!

But first, I’d like to re-visit the goals I made for February, and share with you what worked, and what didn’t.

1) Listen to my kids when they are speaking to me.  I have a bad habit of letting my kids go on and on until I sense that some sort of response is required, and that’s when I say: “Oh, nice.”  Yeeeaah…poor listening skills modeled there, that’s for sure.  I forgot to practice attentive listening most of the time this month, mostly because I didn’t realize I was tuning them out until I heard myself give the thoughtless remark.  But there were some times when I did actually stop what I was doing to listen well, and I will continue to work hard on this basic practice of good manners. If what they are telling me is important to them, it can be important to me.

2) Time alone with God.  I absolutely loved adding this to my day! (Finally!!) It’s not completely “alone” time, but when my kids are older these 15 minutes will eventually be more suitable for contemplative prayer. For now, this is what I’m doing to get in the habit of daily prayer:

Before school starts at 9 am, I sit in the living room, pull out my phone, open the Laudate app, and start off by praying Terce, the prayers of the Divine Office (Liturgy of the Hours) that are said at 9 am all over the world.  (I figure I’m close enough!) Then, I read and pray the readings and prayers for the Mass of the day and the Saint of the day. Next I read a reflection on the readings from Mass, and spend some time reflecting on everything I’ve prayed and read. I end by moving the the prie dieu to kneel and ask God to be with me throughout the day. I spend as much time as I can there, and then I announce to the boys that it’s time for Family Morning Prayers.

3) Breakfast Devotions and Family Prayer Time.  I think I remembered to do something at breakfast twice.  The main obstacle to this habit is that we don’t all eat breakfast at the same time.  I see lots of other homeschool moms out there with a set time for breakfast, and maybe this needs to happen first. The 2-year-old in our home gets up at 6:30, the 6-year-old get up at 7/7:30, and the 4-year old gets up at 8.  I could try giving the 2 year old a little something to eat at 6:30, and then wait for the other two for the “real breakfast” when the 4-year-old is awake.

Family prayer time became more consistent when I added it to my own prayer routine.  Usually, the boys are close by while I’m saying my morning prayers, so I’ve started reading the saint of the day out loud, since the breakfast devotions haven’t been made a habit yet. When I finish my own morning prayers at the kneeler, I call the boys to me for family prayer. We say familiar Catholic prayers like the Hail Mary, Angel of God, and a brief Morning Offering.  I also read the Collect from the day’s Mass (on my phone again, on CatholicCulture.org).

Where I say morning prayers.

Where I say morning prayers.

 

So many good things have happened since I started all these routines, habits, and prayers. I thank God for His patience with me in taking many years to finally DO what He put in my heart a long time ago.  I pray for the grace of perseverance, and I pray to keep the end in sight, the reason for all these new habits: a closer relationship with God and my family.

 

Filed Under: Self-Improvement Tagged With: ,

Grace from Marriage Will Help Your Parenting

February 19, 2014 by Leave a Comment

I was really inspired by the extra daily reading on CatholicCulture.org last week, “A Parent’s Blueprint for Making Youth Holy” by Fr. Daniel Egan, S.A.. (1956)

It reminded me that I have much to learn/review about how grace plays a crucial part in making a marriage holy and fulfilling. It also renewed my confidence in our family’s decision to homeschool. What sparked my interest most, though, was Fr. Egan’s points about how the graces from the Sacrament of Matrimony are guaranteed to be available to parents to help their children grow in holiness.

In case anyone were to doubt the positive role of parents in the sanctification of youth, it may be well to remember that this is actually one of the primary ends of marriage. And because it is, Our Blessed Lord has mercifully arranged it so that every valid, Christian marriage guarantees husband and wife all the graces they need to cooperate in their children’s sanctification. This is so, because it is impossible to have a valid Christian marriage without its being a holy Sacrament. The contract is the Sacrament. The mutual consent is the outward sign which gives grace. That is why those making this contract confer the Sacrament on each other. The priest is just the witness.

So, all the graces that my husband and I need to help our children to be holy are available to us through the Sacrament of Marriage. While we are in the state of grace, we can access grace from God and transmit it to our children:

By nature and by grace, Christian fathers and mothers in a valid marriage are God’s human instruments of grace. They not only sanctify each other, but most certainly sanctify their children.

Have confidence that you, the parent, can raise happy, God-loving children. It is by God’s design that the parents have the most influence on their children:

More than any retreat or mission, more than any spiritual book of exercise, yes, more than any priest or religious, parents themselves, in Holy Marriage, can lead their own children so very close to God. They can do this by the graces they channel into the souls of their children and by the power of example.

But how do we access the graces? I am not a theologian by any means, so correct me if I’m wrong: if I am in the state of grace, I can pray for patience, and I will receive the grace to act patiently. Then I must cooperate with grace by saying no to impatience, and saying yes to patience. The Holy Ghost will lead me, and strengthen me, to act patiently.

In a valid Catholic marriage, husband and wife receive Sacramental graces AND Sanctifying graces. Whenever we are confused about how to handle a child’s new inclination to some bad habit or sin, God is there, ready to give you understanding and grace to handle the situation with love, patience, and guidance.  God IS a loving Father Who wants to help us in every way He can.

In other words, husband and wife do not receive all the grace of the Sacrament at one time. Rather, once they enter this sacramental state they have the right to receive all the actual graces especially needed to fulfill the ends of marriage.

But one of the final ends of marriage is the sanctification of children. Therefore, parents must receive the actual graces to accomplish that end! They receive those sacramental graces as they are needed and when they are needed.

And again:

We are on the surest of theological grounds in stating that because one of the primary ends of marriage is the sanctification of children, Christians who validly enter that state and put no obstacle in the way are guaranteed, not only Sanctifying Grace, but a very special sacramental grace to enable them to sanctify their children.

I realize this post barely scratches the surface of the graces of Matrimony, but it makes me excited to know that there is so much to learn, and how happy and hopeful that makes me!  Knowing there is help from Heaven to raise my kids brings me peace of mind.

May God bless all parents and children throughout the world!

(All quotes were taken from A Parent’s Blueprint for Making Youth Holy” by Fr. Daniel Egan, S.A. It is part of a larger work published in 1956 titled “Sanctity and Success in Marriage”…I will have to search for that later! I highly recommend reading the entire article – he lays out 6 qualities of holy parents, and it is overall very encouraging.)

Filed Under: Family Life, Married Life Tagged With: , ,
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